Personalising a grave space

The grave of a loved one is a special place where many of us find comfort in tending and tidying as an act of care and respect. Many families also choose to place personal items upon a family grave to reflect the personality and character of their loved one.

We appreciate the benefits of personalising a grave space, but we must also consider the feelings of families who have chosen not to personalise a grave or have placed just a small number of items. We also need to ensure that the cemetery staff are able to carry out grounds maintenance and that coffin bearers and mourners can walk safely and easily to graveside for funerals.

What area is available for personalisation?

The actual area available is dependent upon the type of grave; for Lawn, Traditional and Muslim graves, this area is 1'9" (53cm) x 4' (122cm) and for Cremated Remains Gardens and Babies Burial Gardens, the area is 9" (23cm) x 2' (60cm). An example of a well laid out personalised grave along with an illustration setting out the scale of areas of a grave that can be personalised is available to view below.

Example of well personalised grave and drawing of a grave layout

Following a funeral

Where a burial has recently taken place, there will usually be more floral tributes than can be placed within the personalisation area; these will only be removed by the Council when they become spent.

As soon as possible following the funeral, the cemeteries staff will turf or seed the whole of the grave space. Any floral tributes will be temporarily moved to allow turfing and replaced following the completion of the works.

After around three months following the burial, only the personalisation area should be used for flowers. Vases and flower holders made from glass, porcelain or other fragile materials should not be used.

We do understand that during significant dates such as religious festivals or anniversaries you may need to place floral tributes or wreathes outside of the personalisation area.

How will I know exactly how much of the grave can be personalised?

The cemetery staff will mark out the personalisation area on individual graves by request. Where the whole of the grave space is grassed, the cemeteries staff will remove the turf from the agreed area ready for planting.

To arrange for the personalisation area to be marked out on your family grave, please speak to a member of the cemeteries staff or contact Bereavement Services.

What kind of plants should I use to personalise this area?

We recommend that planting is restricted to bedding plants, alpines and flowering bulbs to avoid plants quickly out-growing the personalisation area.

Conifers and other fast-growing shrubs should not be planted within the personalisation area, as these can not only hide a memorial, but also weaken the foundations, which could lead to damage to the memorial.

What personal items are not allowed?

We have endeavoured to develop a policy that will be acceptable to both the families that wish to personalise a grave space and those who object to the placement of personal items.

A small number of personal items may be placed within the personalisation area, to allow a degree of variety for families personalising graves and to ensure that the carefully chosen personal items can be appreciated fully by visitors.

The types of items that are not permitted are:

Fences, edging stones and other surrounds
Gravel and other decorative chippings
Glass, porcelain, brittle plastics or other fragile items
Items that make a noise
Balloons

In order to prevent memorials being hidden, we have also introduced height restrictions on the items that are placed within the personalised area of the grave. Items placed on lawn and traditional graves should be no taller than 12" (30cm) and for cremated remains and babies burial gardens, no taller than 6 " (15cm).

What if a grave is personalised outside of the agreed area?

Where possible, the Council's Cemeteries Inspector will move items to the personalisation area, but we may not always be able to do so, especially where a large number of items are present.

In these cases, the Cemetery Inspector will try to meet the family to discuss their personalisation. If no meeting is arranged, we will notify you asking for items to be moved and placed in the personalisation area within 14 days. If items are still present outside of the personalisation area after 14 days, the items will be carefully removed, labelled and stored for your collection. We will try to allow some flexibility around significant dates such as religious festivals and anniversaries.

Arrangements for collection can be made by contacting Bereavement Services.

What if items or plants within the personalisation area have been identified as unsuitable?

The Cemeteries Inspector may remove any items or plants that do not fall within our guidelines, but will make every effort to do so with the greatest of care and avoiding significant dates. Where items are removed from the personalised area, we will notify you by post and place a notice on the grave space.